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where'd my libido go?

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scarlettblush
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:40 pm    Post subject: where'd my libido go? Reply with quote

Hey guys,

I've got a problem that's been troubling me for quite a while now, for months now I've just lost all interest in sex or anything intimate. Even kissing is a task.

I'm in a relationship and have been for over a year now, I love my boyfriend to bits and he's one of the most attractive men I've ever met so there's no problems with him yet I just don't want to get intimate at all anymore.

We used to have a very active sex life, generally it involved having sex multiple times a day, multiple times a week but I started experiencing pain during penetration so that kind of limited the amount of sex we had.
Medically there was nothing wrong with me and eventually the pain went away but I just don't want to have sex at all nowadays.

I'm really desperate for answers because although my boyfriend is very loving, patient and understanding, I can see that he is struggling with the constant rejection and the fact that he isn't getting satisfied like he used to and should.

Has anyone experienced this and does anybody have any ideas on how to fix it???

Thank you =]
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ali0
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Since you cut down on it while you were experiencing the pain, maybe you just got used to not having sex. It could just be a habit that you formed unintentionally, and the best way to get out of that is to just have sex. Is it not pleasurable for you, or is the interest just not there? If it's still pleasurable, then it should be easy to get back into the mindset of 'sex is fun and it feels good'.
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scarlettblush
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sex is nothing special, I think this is because, even when I force myself to have sex I'm not enjoying it so there's not intimacy and passion involved.
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ali0
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 5:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No offense, but the only time that I have had sex that was devoid of passion and intimacy was when I had fallen out of love...
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scarlettblush
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 6:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought of this. I don't think it's cause of that because I don't feel any want to have sex with anyone. I don't want to do it solo either.
I'm just not interested...
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Kraftdinnerchef
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you go out on dates anymore?
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ali0
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, if you don't feel the desire to even masturbate anymore, maybe you should see a doctor if you're worried this won't eventually pass.
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dementedbacon
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

are you on the pill or any other birth control? my libido hit the floor for about 8 months. it still isn't how it used to be, but it's bearable now. we very rarely have sex more than once a day now (it used to be two or three) but i think that is due to our lifestyle. i dont get a day off as im at uni and then on my days off im at work all day so tiredness has a lot to do with it as well - i just cant be bothered and have more important things on my mind!

just think about your lifestyle and work out whether it is something you can change (i.e if you are very busy, take a day off every now and then), or whether you are just making excuses. in which case i agree with ali and you may have just fallen out of love
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scarlettblush
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am on the pill, I have been for a couple of years now.
I wondered if this was the problem but I also have had a very stressful year, including being kicked out of home and then I've had my final year of high school so that could be it.
I'm thinking the best thing to do would be to see a doctor...
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cxerophim
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 4:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

from the sound of things (and I'm sorry I didn't read all of the responses, so my apologies if I repeat something someone else said) it seems to be mostly about the stress, and only by resolving those issues can you hope to restore your libido to some sense of normalicy. the birth control is also an important issue to note, as many times it is the primary cause of sexual dysfunction in women and far too little is made of that. the low-dose estrogen/high-dose progesterone pills frequently can lower sexual desire even to the point of feeling "sexless" which it sounds as though you are. talking to your OBGYN about a switch to something with more estrogen might also help. but work on the other issues first.
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