[tila3125]

Hi there,
im a 19 year old girl (turning 20 very soon!)and 2nd year student at uni, and i have many friends that have one night stands, and i also have friends that are virgins.

I go out to bars/clubs with my friends at least once a week, and i sometimes find myself dancing with a guy, and if it happens, i do make out with them, which is usually as far as i will go.

I am not against casual sex, and my school there are loads of people just having random sex, and i don't think ill find a boyfriend anytime soon.

Im not a virgin but 'barely' had sex once, so ya im pretty much a virgin and am scared to start hooking up with guys i meet at bars for a few reasons...

a) i have NO experience whatsoever, and feel like i'd be very awkward through the whole birnging him to my place and hooking up and him staying

and i bled quite a bit my first time, and am also scared that id bleed again, that would be embarassing?

what is your experience like having one night stands?

i met a really nice guy at a bar who i really wouldn't have minded bringing him back with me, but i just made excuses and said no.

im just worried about the awkward night/morning/after sex part, if id be any good at it, downthere grooming, etc...

share your experience?

and all seriousness please

[PopStar9]

To be honest it doesn't sound like random hookups is for you (not for me either). You have very little experience so I think it'd be difficult for you to have casual sex with no emotional attachments, plus all of the things you're concerned about are signs that you aren't into that kind of thing. I think your making excuses to not be with the guy you described also means you know it probably isn't for you.

One night stands definitely aren't for everyone. I know they're not for me, I really don't think I'd be able to have sex with someone I barely know, just from an emotional standpoint, let alone the risks of STDs and pregnancy (which are always possible no matter how careful you are).

Don't try and convince yourself to go ahead with something your instincts are telling you not to do. Trust yourself and wait for someone you truly care about.
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[gemma_peanuts]

Why not try and get these guys numbers? hang out with them in a non drunken situation - this could help to bring it out of a one night stand sense and maybe something more regular? Might be more your sort of thing?

I've had one night stands before. It's definately something I didn't think I would be able to do but something I now find pretty easy, however in these situations, it's not always easy to be as sexually open as you might want to be around someone you know a little more personally than in the last 3 hours.
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Lushness :]

[BioGuy]

From a guys point of view, I do believe that you would be respected more if you stay away from the one night stands and random sex. You will have less of a chance of getting a STD also. You will feel better about yourself, so don't let the pressures of random sex get to you. I believe you are in the majority and not a minority.

[dementedbacon]

[hollistercutie4]

i have NO experience whatsoever, and feel like i'd be very awkward through the whole birnging him to my place and hooking up and him staying

From this alone it sounds like this is not the sort of way you should be finding sexual partners. It involves serious thought from start to finish, even though it is sort of a spur of the moment activity. You need to know what you're going to do, in some sense, and you need to be okay with that.


and i bled quite a bit my first time, and am also scared that id bleed again, that would be embarassing?


It's possible that you could bleed the next couple of times after the first time you have sex if your hymen didnt tear all the way. I am someone who doesn't get embarrassed when it comes to sex, and I believe that if sex embarrasses you then maybe you aren't ready to be having sex.
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http://suggestivetongue.wordpress.com/

[catman5169]

I'm afraid that you're soon to be a case of having something that soap won't wash off and pennicillin won't cure. It was bad enough back in the day when a dose of the clap could be cured with a shot.
I, too, think that you're behaving in a way you really don't want to. I've had sex, and made love and there is a lot of difference between the two. The random hookups were two sets of organs calling each other. There are no correct words to describe the feeling when two people who truly love each other unite. The satisfaction is beyond description. The sex was...well...you got off for awhile.
Find that special someone and you'll understand...it's worth it.
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Stupid ought to hurt

[sweet_dixie_cowgirl]

wow, im in this same exact situation... my "barely" first time was an awkward one nighter tho... my plan is to meet guys and not sleep with them and do what was previously stated, get their number... i would prefer dating to plain hooking up and i realize that now... if you just give it up its not going to amount to anything more 85% of the time... gotta keep the guys around a lil bc if u do that the first night knowing him, its much easier to run away than to make something of it which is why one night stands are so common in bar scenes...

[meggsy1]

I am not totally against picking/being picked up a guy in a bar. I am however very selective but have done it a few times. I never go back to my place and use his. I ensure he lives alone though. No gang bangs for me.
I am a person who wont commit to a relationship and have what I refer to 'recreational sex'

[AznPersuasion]

Random hookup is definitely not fo ryou from what is stated. Sex is a huge step for a lot of people especially if you're not experienced. Sometimes its worth the wait for the right one and try it together. You said you bled the first time, well thats natural for all girls. Don't be so down on yourself. Best of wishes to you