[KillCheeks]

While some of you knew about this long ago, many of you will be surprised (but not really) to learn that video games have finally decided to openly acknowledge their gayness. Good news, to be sure – they’d clearly been repressing it for a long, long time – but there’s a problem. Now that they’re out, they’re making up for lost time. They’re not content to just be gay. They’re being super, super, astronomically gay: not demure, clandestine Anderson Cooper gay; not shirtless and fencing George Takei gay; not even zesty, mincing, owning-the-caricature Scott Thompson gay, but gay in a way that used to only exist in the stereotypes of 13-year-old-glue-huffin’ heshers. Greased, ripped Rip Taylor on crantinis and amyl nitrate getting nailed by a rainbow gay. The proof? The upcoming European release of Muscle March.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8BcndMxu44&feature=player_embedded


The visuals are what make it, though. Almost everything has a schizophrenic caricaturization to it – like it was designed for gay people by someone who only learned about gayness from, well, video gamers. And the only time before this that homosexuality was approached by a videogame was in Postal 2 – the Wikipedia entry for which used to contain the phrase, “The company defended the game by pointing out that the player does not have to kill gay characters and that the gays in the bar will fire back.”

Oh wait, no, wrong – I forgot about Cho Aniki.



In short, Cho Aniki boiled homosexuality down to just its fuzziest, crowd-pleasingest aspects – loving muscles and ejaculating – and it was still rejected by the mainstream. The problem was that it tried to be gay at a time when video games just weren’t ready to be gay. They were new in town, they had a lot of pressure to fit in, and they spent all their time with kids who just wouldn’t have it. Also, another problem Cho Aniki had was that it was nightmarishly f***** up. But now, things are a bit more permissive – video games are free to admit that they’re gay, and free to depict homosexuality openly, honestly, and accurately.


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[burntkai]

Ok.And?
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[KillCheeks]

[burntkai]

[josh45]

I tried to be gay in GTA4. But none of the guys on the web dating will go out with Niko. I'm hoping my luck changes with the Ballad of Gay Tony.
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♂

[reoccuringkind]

i was so distracted by the polar bear's bulge, i didn't even noticed the muscle chick in the bikini. this is beautiful.
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i spilled the ink across the page trying to spell your name

[LLgood]

Your posts never fail to educate and amuse me.
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[BlackBetty123]

i duno if i want to be gay if an open, honest and accurate depiction of a gay woman is that bikini clad monstrosity..
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i never knew my childhood was so gay.

[SoCa]

[Dat_Ganja]

I thought that the translations would be super funny, or something.

unfortunately, they're not. While I can't exactly translate word for word what all the sentences mean, I can tell you what the general idea is.

The first screen-shot indicates that this is a "stamina" exercise. I assume that the game would have various exercises, and this is an example of one.

The final shot, with all the men lined up displays the title - something along the lines of "Be a Muscle Man".
The other snippits are more-or-less declarations of how you can be just like them.



I assume the game will be like any regular boxing game, except there will be no boxing... just getting muscular, and walking around in little clothes.

Considering that Japanese people are weird enough to devote billions of dollars to television shows and game software around the theme of baking... It comes as no shock to me that they'd exploit some other social hobby to the full extent of it's tackyness.

Seems completely typical of Japanese culture actually.

If you want proof, look no further:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bc-547XK4Yo

A Korean trailer for a Japanese movie that was insanely popular during my stay. I was devastated. A simple television show would have me sweating bullets - and they play them on repeat.
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[Langox510x]

[bretth4]

[nick97]

I know you can have a lesbian relationship in Mass Effect. It wasn't an option for guys though.
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"I found a tidal wave begging to tear down the dawn.. memories like bullets they fire at me from a gun.Crack in the armor.I swim for brighter days despite the absence of sun.Choking on saltwater..I'm not giving in...I swim."

[bretth4]

[nick97]